Monday, August 20, 2012

My Story


Hello everyone,
My name is Holly and I’m a teen mom. I’m new to blogging but helping other teen moms has been weighing heavy on my heart. Today I plan to tell you my story.
                It all started when I was 15. At this time I was very active I cheered for my high school and a competitive cheerleading squad, I played soccer and I also showed horses. I was always on the run. However, I was with someone who I thought I loved. When really I didn’t know what love was. Since I thought I loved him and he loved me therefore, I became victim of unprotected sex. My parents were going through a divorce at the time and I really had no one to talk to about prevention. At least that is how I felt. The night that changed my life was the night of homecoming in October of 2005. Shortly after this night I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. So out of fear I hid that I was pregnant from everyone. This was not easy and I constantly felt guilty.  But as you can’t hide a pregnancy forever people started to talk and wonder. First it was my friends from school. I always tried to drop hints to my closest friend but she didn’t catch on but now that I think about it why should she have caught on we were 15 and having the time of our lives in high school. She did figure it out eventually and I will never forget the day that she did we were in the bathroom at lunch and she asked if something like that was going on because I hadn’t mentioned having cramps or anything like that and I told her that I was pregnant and she yelled at me and ran out of the bathroom at the time I was hurt and mad. Now I know she was upset with me because she knew how this would change my life forever. Later that night she called me and apologized we talked forever and I went to bed crying that night because I knew that things were about to become very crazy and emotional. Our group of friends was very close so I knew they would all know. The next day they did. They confronted me and asked if I had told my parents and I told them no. So later that day I was sitting in science class and I got called down to the counselors office. My group of friends had gone to the counselors to express their concern. At the time I was so mad and could not believe my friends had told school faculty that I was pregnant. The counselor asked me if they were telling him the truth and I told him yes. He then told me how important it was that I tell my mom and he gave me a week to do this or he was calling her. He also set me up with a group for teen moms in high school.  Which I did enjoy it was nice to know I wasn’t alone.  Back at home I would sit and wonder how in the world do I tell my mom who is going through a divorce that her now 16 year old daughter was pregnant?? Little did I know word got around quick and she had been questioned so hadn’t my dad. I will never forget the day my mom found out. It was April fool’s day of 2006 and we were having my little sister’s birthday party.  I had just got home from the barn that night and the house was full with people the two main people for this part was my boyfriend and my 4h advisor. Little did I know my mom had already questioned my 4h advisor about me being pregnant and she had no clue. So later that night once everyone left my mom sat me down and asked me if what she had heard was true. I knew this was it I couldn’t lie anymore I had to tell her. I told her yes it was true and I was so scared. She started crying and I felt like the worst daughter ever so I started crying. She asked me if I knew how far along I was at this time I was 6 months pregnant and she asked me if I knew what I wanted to do meaning keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I told her that I wanted to keep the baby. The next day she called my pediatrician and had him order an ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy and to see if it was a boy or girl. My mom and boyfriend and I went and found out the baby was healthy and was a Girl. I was so excited that it was a little girl but still terrified. On the ride home I found out that my boyfriend was not so excited that it was a girl and he was very rude to me. He never really wanted to keep the baby anyways which was a lot of the reason I did hide the pregnancy for so long. So the next 3 months went by during that time I was very depressed my boyfriend continued to treat me badly and that hurt during that time. I went in to be induced on July 14th 2006 at like 7 am I was so scared and had no idea what so ever to expect. I was started on Pitocin and the labor started. Surprisingly enough I didn’t have a bad labor. By the time I was in a lot of pain it was time for my epidural and then it was time to push. I had my daughter that day at 8:00pm I named her Aubree Lynn. I fell in love with this little girl from the time I laid eyes on her and I knew from that moment on she was my world and I had to keep her happy and make a life for us. I knew it was going to be tuff and there was going to be a lot of bumps along the way. At this time in my life I found out what love was. So after a couple of days in the hospital we were able to come home. My boyfriend and father of the baby brought us home. My mom went to Wal-Mart to get me a few things and get my medicine filled. My boyfriend at the time mowed my mom’s grass and left. I was here all alone with a newborn. I called my mom crying because I couldn’t believe he had just left. Once off the phone I realized that it didn’t matter what he did that I had this amazing little girl to take care of. So that’s what I did. The days to follow were hard and I was in pain and depressed because of my situation with my daughters father. He never came around much and wouldn’t help with anything. After a week of being home two of my closest friends and I went shopping. That was definitely a new experience. Over time though I really started to learn who my real friends were which at the time was one. She became like an aunt to my daughter. I went back to high school when Aubree was a month almost two months old which was the start of my junior year. I missed a lot of school and didn’t like being away from her so I sat down and talked to my mom and we found a school that I could do online at home and still get a high school diploma so I left my high school and started online high school at home and it definitely wasn’t easy. Shortly after this time my daughter’s dad left me for someone else who was even younger. I knew it was going to happen because he never wanted to do anything and never wanted to see his daughter. I was upset and mad but I stayed strong for my daughter. I confided in my friends and they helped me through a lot. A few months later when Aubree was about 4 months old I met someone who I had shown horses with and we started talking and hanging out. He was the first guy to ever give me butterflies and he was completely okay with the fact that I had a daughter and knew she came first along with school. After a couple of weeks I let him meet aubree and he was so comfortable around her. He would entertain her while I did my school work. I ended up graduating high school thanks to the support I had. I also entered college and got a college degree. I am still with that same guy that gave me butterflies and we are now married with another little girl.
                I will tell you working and going to school is not easy. Being a teen mom is not easy. People will harass you and you will face so many road blocks but you have to stay strong and always do the right thing and have faith and things will work out.
I have many other things to say and talk about but I think this is enough for right now. My goal with this blog is to reach out to other teen moms or even girls who are thinking about sex. I want to help as many girls as I can by talking about different struggles and being a young parent. Any girl who reads this I encourage to contact me.
I hope you enjoyed reading my story and there will be more to come this was just a brief.

2 comments:

  1. I relate to your story so much!I got pregnant at 15 and also hid my pregnancy for 7 1/2 months!I am no longer with the dad we separated 2 months after my son was born but i've been with my boyfriend for 3 years who is by far.a better dad to my son(:

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  2. I'm so happy that you can relate to my story. I think stuff like this really helps. No one can understand a teen mom like a teen mom. My husband and I have been together for about 6 years and he treats my daughter like his own he is wonderful. I feel its a good thing too because my daughter has a good male figure in her life :)

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