A little about my school journey

Hello everyone!

I have decided to tell everyone about my struggles with school including high school and college. I’m not sure where to begin so I guess I will start with this J before I got pregnant I attended a well-known high school. I continued to go there during my pregnancy and after I had my daughter. Being in a high school that was full of well snooty people while you are pregnant isn’t exactly easy. I went from good grades and well liked to ok grades and a few friends so after I had my daughter I entered my junior year of high school I thought everything would be good but after a while the rude remarks from students and teachers got to me on top of having a daughter who was constantly sick and the doctors couldn’t figure out why for a really long time. So I finally asked my mom if I could go to school at home through ECOT I knew about this online school because I had two cousins graduate from ecot. So after I talked my mom in to it and she talked my dad in to it she signed me up to start ecot in the process of me switching schools my public school decided to press charges saying I was being truant and I wasn’t. So I had to spend 30 days on probation until I could show the judge I was doing my work at home and getting good grades once I did that I was free. I thought going to school at home online was going to be so much easier when the truth was it was not going to be easier in the way I thought it would be. I had to try and read and do all of my school work with my daughter with me it wasn’t like going to classes and having to take her to her grandma’s house since I was going to school at home I had to handle it all on my own. Eventually I figured out a good routine and graduated from high school, leaving my friends, school activities, and somewhat of a social life behind was not easy but I got threw it because I knew I had to. I finally graduated high school on time in May of 2008. I knew from there I wanted to go to college. I had always dreamed of being a nurse or at least I dreamt of doing something in the medical field. However when I expressed what I wanted to do to my family they basically talked me out of doing it saying that I would never be able to go to college for nursing. That I didn’t have what it took. After hearing that over and over again I started to believe it so instead of doing what I wanted to do I looked in to other options. I finally found corrections and criminal justice. I saw there wasn’t much math included and there wasn’t a waiting list so I said what the heck I can still kind of help people this way so I signed up at the local community college with a major in corrections. I ended up really liking corrections I was on dean’s list almost every quarter and when I did my internships I received excellent evaluations. However achieving this was not easy what so ever. Once I enrolled in college and started I had family members that told me they were going to help me as far as watching my daughter. Some of them followed through and some didn’t making sure I had a babysitter everyday was a huge struggle and it was very stressful. I even at one point had to go to my local job a family services department and apply for daycare assistance and I did that for a little while. Other than worrying about babysitters I would have to say for me the other stressful part of college was homework, I typically would get as much done as I could while I was still at the school. However what I didn’t get done I would have to do at home. So when I got home from school I would do what I had to do around my house and cook dinner and play with the daughter then get her bathed and in bed and then that’s when I when I would start on homework.  Which caused me to usually be up very very late and then I would have to get up very early so I usually didn’t get much sleep. Red bull became my best friend J those two things were my biggest struggle during my first year of college the second year I became pregnant with my second daughter and  by this time I had a reliable babysitter and my school schedule worked around my husband’s work schedule most of the time. Even though babysitting was not an issue being pregnant at school once again was hard. I was sick and so tired and I was already tired to begin with so I really changed my diet and my schedule and that helped if it wasn’t for my husband I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I was due to have my second daughter during fall quarter so Instead of taking any time off I took courses online that quarter still enough credit hours to keep me full time. After I had her I now had more responsibility and less time. I eventually started again with the cram all of my work in after the kids were in bed. I still did a lot of work at school but I always had studying to do. After my second year was done I graduated finally with an associate’s degree in corrections. I made dean’s list almost every quarter and was an instructor favorite. I felt really good about myself by the jobs in my field were almost nonexistent and in my heart I wasn’t truly happy because it wasn’t what I always dreamed of doing. I enjoyed it yes but it wasn’t a passion. So I plan to go back to school for what I really want to do which is nursing and I can’t wait. I know now I can do it and I wish I had this confidence years ago. So I know all of the struggles first hand. I wouldn’t have gotten through college if it wasn’t for my husband flash cards and red bull J but I did it and you can too!

                                                                                         

I would love to hear from some of you that have dealt with struggles while trying to go to school. We need all the support we can get when we are trying to improve our lives by going to school.

Thanks

Dealing with people who judge

I know I mentioned in my story about how people will say mean things and be quick to judge. Its a very hard thing to deal with and can really affect how you feel about yourself and how you progress in the future. Especially when you are already dealing with so many emotions to begin with. I know personally not only would i get judged and made fun of at school I would also deal with this out in public places such as the pediatricians office. When i would be in there with my daughter I could hear people say rude things like wow look at that kid with a baby that poor baby doesn't stand a chance in life. I would hear things like this daily. I had a family member tell me I would never make anything of myself and that I would just flip burgers for the rest of my life. I would also get comments like don't you know your daughter will be in jail because your a young mom... People really have no clue how the hurtful things they say to you can really affect you. For a little while I let this get me down, I started to not believe in myself at all. I started to give up. However I knew that just because people said these things and felt this way didn't mean that it was the reality of my situation, I knew that I was the only person that could control my future and my daughters future. So I picked myself up put up a thicker wall and said to myself I am going to prove these people wrong no matter how long it takes me and that is just what i did and im continuing to do. I graduated high school even though my own family said I would never do it. I started college and graduated and carried a 4.0 gpa almost every quarter even though everyone said i would never do it. I can tell you one thing proving all of these people wrong was amazing. It was not easy finishing school and starting college and getting good grades but i knew i had to do it. I encourage any girl out there to not be a victim of the harassment and beat the statistics, It may take you a long time to get through school but if you get through it that's all that matters. There are options and assistance out there to help us teen moms so we can finish school and get a higher education. Just put your best foot forward and keep working hard and it will all pay off.

I plan to talk about my struggles finishing school and getting a college education tomorrow :)

I also want to remind everyone coming to read my posts to please comment or email me I would love to hear from all of you and give any advice i can

Co-Parenting

Ok, I told everyone i would find a good website about co parenting and I found one. It has alot of helpful information. http://helpguide.org/mental/coparenting_shared_parenting_divorce.htm

I would love to hear from some of you about how you handle co parenting.

Feedback

Okay so far i have heard a lot about struggles with co parenting and an absent father. This has been a struggle for me as well. I'm really curious to know what everyone else goes through with this and what you do to make the situation better. My main struggle with this is that my daughters father was never around and when he got married 5 years later he then wanted to be what i call a part timer and it has been very hard to co parent because i feel resentment because he was never there for her however i try my best to get past this because i know its what is best for my daughter :) I may try to find some websites on this stuff and post them later.
Cant wait to hear from everyone.
also if you are on Facebook go and like my page there Teen Mom Help & Support

Growing up & things lost

Okay, Day two of blogging.
I'm not sure if anyone will comment on this or not but I encourage everyone to comment. I'm keeping this a safe place. I know I practically had to grow up over night and in the process I lost a lot of friends and had to give up many things. This is usually the hardest part for girls. In my situation I was still able to show horses and be around the barn after I had my daughter so I took pride in taking her with me and teaching her :) Since I was sharing something close to my heart with my daughter the sports that I had to stop playing didnt bother me because I was able to do this. What did you do to overcome some of the disappointment from the  sports/activities you had to give up. Or were you able to continue these?

For me it seemed that majority of my friends stuck around while I was pregnant but it seemed like after I had my daughter and that became my number 1 priority a ton of my friends stopped talking to me and coming around. I did have one amazing friend stick with me through it all and she is a big part of my support system. It was sad to loose so many friends but instead of consuming so much time into worrying about it I leaned on my one true friend and spend time with her and my daughter and we had a ton of fun. And once I met my now husband we spent time doing alot of fun things. I also leaned on my family members. I know now everyone has a strong support system. I learned that its not how many people you have surrounding you supporting you ect. what matters is the people who care for you and love you no matter what the situation is. Those people will be a bigger impact on your life than 20 untrue people could. I also tried to meet some other young moms. Did you loose friends? What did you do to overcome this at such a young age?

I really hope to hear some feedback if you are not comfortable commenting please email me :)

Websites for help

Below is a list of some very helpful websites. Educate yourself :)

http://www.loveisrespect.org/

Webpage for healthy dating and a resource to help with dating abuse

http://www.stayteen.org/

Website with lots of information on relationships, sex, teen pregnancy

http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/

Tons of information about teen pregnancy and prevention

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

Sex education, Can find a center close to you for prevention options and pregnancy help

 www.facebook.com/TeenMomHelpSupport.

Safe page for teen moms to go to for help and support

http://www.crisispregnancy.com/

This website talks about different options for an unplanned pregnancy

Additional Information

In regards to my story. I just want to make any young girl aware that it is not the best choice to hide your pregnancy. There is a lot of prenatal care that your unborn child requires. The quicker your support system knows you are pregnant the longer you have to prepare and decide what is best for you situation. I understand it is scary but there is people you can reach out to. There is blogs like mine, support groups, school counselors, Churches. Keep yourself and your child healthy and happy. I plan to post some helpful websites later including websites on prevention.

Also with my story, I want everyone to know that there is physical abuse and there is verbal/emotional abuse and neither one is ever okay. Don't become a victim. seek help. I will also post some helpful websites for this.

I also want to say that school is so important for your future. It is hard with a child. But there is options. Your local job and family services may be able to provide day care assistance, talk with your family, look into online high schools. Never give up.

I have faith that if we can start supporting young mothers instead of running them down we can make a difference. I truly believe we will see graduation rates rise in teen mothers as well as the number of teen moms that have a college degree.

Contacting Me

For any girl who comes to this page and needs someone to talk to, needs advice, or has questions please do not hesitate to contact me. Email me first and we will go from there. Thank You
Holly.Teenmom@gmail.com
H.Protsman@aol.com

My Story

Hello everyone,

My name is Holly and I’m a teen mom. I’m new to blogging but helping other teen moms has been weighing heavy on my heart. Today I plan to tell you my story.

                It all started when I was 15. At this time I was very active I cheered for my high school and a competitive cheerleading squad, I played soccer and I also showed horses. I was always on the run. However, I was with someone who I thought I loved. When really I didn’t know what love was. Since I thought I loved him and he loved me therefore, I became victim of unprotected sex. My parents were going through a divorce at the time and I really had no one to talk to about prevention. At least that is how I felt. The night that changed my life was the night of homecoming in October of 2005. Shortly after this night I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. So out of fear I hid that I was pregnant from everyone. This was not easy and I constantly felt guilty.  But as you can’t hide a pregnancy forever people started to talk and wonder. First it was my friends from school. I always tried to drop hints to my closest friend but she didn’t catch on but now that I think about it why should she have caught on we were 15 and having the time of our lives in high school. She did figure it out eventually and I will never forget the day that she did we were in the bathroom at lunch and she asked if something like that was going on because I hadn’t mentioned having cramps or anything like that and I told her that I was pregnant and she yelled at me and ran out of the bathroom at the time I was hurt and mad. Now I know she was upset with me because she knew how this would change my life forever. Later that night she called me and apologized we talked forever and I went to bed crying that night because I knew that things were about to become very crazy and emotional. Our group of friends was very close so I knew they would all know. The next day they did. They confronted me and asked if I had told my parents and I told them no. So later that day I was sitting in science class and I got called down to the counselors office. My group of friends had gone to the counselors to express their concern. At the time I was so mad and could not believe my friends had told school faculty that I was pregnant. The counselor asked me if they were telling him the truth and I told him yes. He then told me how important it was that I tell my mom and he gave me a week to do this or he was calling her. He also set me up with a group for teen moms in high school.  Which I did enjoy it was nice to know I wasn’t alone.  Back at home I would sit and wonder how in the world do I tell my mom who is going through a divorce that her now 16 year old daughter was pregnant?? Little did I know word got around quick and she had been questioned so hadn’t my dad. I will never forget the day my mom found out. It was April fool’s day of 2006 and we were having my little sister’s birthday party.  I had just got home from the barn that night and the house was full with people the two main people for this part was my boyfriend and my 4h advisor. Little did I know my mom had already questioned my 4h advisor about me being pregnant and she had no clue. So later that night once everyone left my mom sat me down and asked me if what she had heard was true. I knew this was it I couldn’t lie anymore I had to tell her. I told her yes it was true and I was so scared. She started crying and I felt like the worst daughter ever so I started crying. She asked me if I knew how far along I was at this time I was 6 months pregnant and she asked me if I knew what I wanted to do meaning keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I told her that I wanted to keep the baby. The next day she called my pediatrician and had him order an ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy and to see if it was a boy or girl. My mom and boyfriend and I went and found out the baby was healthy and was a Girl. I was so excited that it was a little girl but still terrified. On the ride home I found out that my boyfriend was not so excited that it was a girl and he was very rude to me. He never really wanted to keep the baby anyways which was a lot of the reason I did hide the pregnancy for so long. So the next 3 months went by during that time I was very depressed my boyfriend continued to treat me badly and that hurt during that time. I went in to be induced on July 14^th 2006 at like 7 am I was so scared and had no idea what so ever to expect. I was started on Pitocin and the labor started. Surprisingly enough I didn’t have a bad labor. By the time I was in a lot of pain it was time for my epidural and then it was time to push. I had my daughter that day at 8:00pm I named her Aubree Lynn. I fell in love with this little girl from the time I laid eyes on her and I knew from that moment on she was my world and I had to keep her happy and make a life for us. I knew it was going to be tuff and there was going to be a lot of bumps along the way. At this time in my life I found out what love was. So after a couple of days in the hospital we were able to come home. My boyfriend and father of the baby brought us home. My mom went to Wal-Mart to get me a few things and get my medicine filled. My boyfriend at the time mowed my mom’s grass and left. I was here all alone with a newborn. I called my mom crying because I couldn’t believe he had just left. Once off the phone I realized that it didn’t matter what he did that I had this amazing little girl to take care of. So that’s what I did. The days to follow were hard and I was in pain and depressed because of my situation with my daughters father. He never came around much and wouldn’t help with anything. After a week of being home two of my closest friends and I went shopping. That was definitely a new experience. Over time though I really started to learn who my real friends were which at the time was one. She became like an aunt to my daughter. I went back to high school when Aubree was a month almost two months old which was the start of my junior year. I missed a lot of school and didn’t like being away from her so I sat down and talked to my mom and we found a school that I could do online at home and still get a high school diploma so I left my high school and started online high school at home and it definitely wasn’t easy. Shortly after this time my daughter’s dad left me for someone else who was even younger. I knew it was going to happen because he never wanted to do anything and never wanted to see his daughter. I was upset and mad but I stayed strong for my daughter. I confided in my friends and they helped me through a lot. A few months later when Aubree was about 4 months old I met someone who I had shown horses with and we started talking and hanging out. He was the first guy to ever give me butterflies and he was completely okay with the fact that I had a daughter and knew she came first along with school. After a couple of weeks I let him meet aubree and he was so comfortable around her. He would entertain her while I did my school work. I ended up graduating high school thanks to the support I had. I also entered college and got a college degree. I am still with that same guy that gave me butterflies and we are now married with another little girl.

                I will tell you working and going to school is not easy. Being a teen mom is not easy. People will harass you and you will face so many road blocks but you have to stay strong and always do the right thing and have faith and things will work out.

I have many other things to say and talk about but I think this is enough for right now. My goal with this blog is to reach out to other teen moms or even girls who are thinking about sex. I want to help as many girls as I can by talking about different struggles and being a young parent. Any girl who reads this I encourage to contact me.

I hope you enjoyed reading my story and there will be more to come this was just a brief.